Nice to meet you…

Thank you for visiting the Outrageously Ordinary site!  I appreciate you stopping by and want to assure you that once you get past the sarcasm, I am actually a devoted mother who loves her children more than anything.

I am trying to teach my children to see the hilarious in the mundane. My two babies (who aren’t babies anymore) keep me entertained and will undoubtedly be the star of this show. But even without them, random things just seem to happen to me. I’m like a walking “I Love Lucy” re-run really, minus the hunky Cuban husband.

I love people-watching and am endlessly fascinated by the saggy pants of the young and stupid, the black socks with sandals of the old and carefree, and everyone in between. When I’m not rocking motherhood, I am doing laundry. Getting clothes from the washer to the dryer before they start to smell is a weekly goal.

I also enjoy finding mysteriously sticky stains on the kitchen floor, praying for patience while cleaning the yellow dribble in the bathroom, holding back four-letter words while surgically removing tiny Lego pieces from my feet, chauffeuring the Miss and Mr to practices, lessons, school and playdates, and who doesn’t love a good Pokemon battle?

My kids are my life, and I am grateful every day for their loving hugs and sloppy kisses. Our faith keeps us grounded, our sarcasm keeps us laughing, everything else is a bonus!

So thank you for joining me on this crazy train!  Please send me your stories of funny motherhood mishaps, fatherhood follies and people of Walmart sightings.  We’ll make this site a collection of stories to keep us laughing through the adventures of parenting and hopefully through the teen years … hopefully.

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Mom Tip

Mom tip I’ve learned #184,905

My kids are a little shy and my son’s best friend moved, leaving him to make new friends at school. He told me that lunch was kind of quiet at his table, no one really talked to each other “except for the people who still had best friends there.” It broke my heart so I started putting riddles in his lunch to spark conversation. Now the table begs him to read the latest riddle and they spend lunchtime working together to figure them out!

#MomTip #OutrageouslyOrdinary

Wow.

While being completely adorable tonight, My Guy told me that I’m not old, I’ve just existed for a long time.

Wow.

#Wow #MyGuy #DeepThoughtsByJackHandy #FromTheMouthOfBabes #LOL #AgingSemiGracefully #IfHeWerentSoCute #OutrageouslyOrdinary

Kid Thoughts

I love the way my kids think…

The Daught – When I grow up and get married, I want a big garage the man can fix things in.

Me – I heard a rumor that women can fix things too.

The Daught – Yeah, but I don’t wanna. He can do it, and have a whole room to keep his mess in.

Then later…

My Guy – How long have you been on hold with Spectrum, mom?

Me – Almost an hour.

My Guy – Does that count as cyber bullying?

Me – Yes. Yes it does.

My Guy – you want me to give it a go? I can probably fix it before they can.

Me – Yes. Yes I do.

And he did.

#KidThoughts #Goofball #TheDaught #MyGuy #KidsSayTheDarndestThings #OutrageouslyOrdinary

The Sarcasm Continues…

The Daught, also known as “Quick Wit”, sent me this today… the next generation of sarcasm continues…

Earlier today, I was helping a teacher at school drag a million pounds of something to the teachers lounge.

I was push she was pull.

Might I add, that pushing a million pounds of something is like lifting 6 weights with the benches?!?!

Anyway, we finally got it to the teachers lounge, and I immediately collapsed (what would you have done?!).

Talk about an old lady moment. Mom goes to the gym, I get stuck with P.E. You’d think that would be enough, right? Nope. More work. It’s not happening, but I guess you can laugh at the 11 year old who struggles to hold the milk.

She said, “I knew we could do it!” My response: “I get that we did it, and that’s great, but I really hope that there is a million pounds of, like, candy in here. I feel like I earned at least one Smarties.” She laughed, “Sure, sure. But we are not done quite yet.” I was totally bummed. I tried not to show it though, that would have been rude.

“I want to put it on that chair so it’s not in the middle of the floor,” she said.

If I wasn’t mistaken (I’m not), that would mean LIFTING the million pounds of something.

…10 SECONDS LATER…

We lifted it to the chair, “I am officially convinced. You are a wizard.” said she.

And holy moly, I just met She-Ra’s sister.

#TheSarcasmContinues #NextGeneration #QuickWit #TheDaught #SoProudOfMyGirl #AMillionPoundsOfSomething #WeLoveSheRa #OutrageouslyOrdinary

I’m Seeing Someone, Sweetheart

Any time I think I’m putting Richard Simmons to shame at the gym, I am put right back in my place by a 70+ year old man who is always there and could literally run circles around me. I saw him bench pressing 6 man hole covers tonight and told him he looked like Superman. His response… “I’m seeing someone, sweetheart.”

“All the good ones are, sir.”

#ImSeeingSomeoneSweetheart #IMetSuperman #GymTime #RichardSimmons #SuperMan #NeverBeUnderestimated #AllTheGoodOnesAreGone #OutrageouslyOrdinary

Car Games

In an attempt to end the backseat bickering of my beloved children, I invented a game today that actually made us laugh, kept their attention for at least half an hour and could help with young readers learning their ABC’s.

We played it two ways….

License plate pronunciation – try to pronounce the random letters on any plate to make a word. Then make up a definition for that “word”.

License plate acronyms – use the (generally) three letters on a plate to come up with an acronym of a club that driver belongs to. Example: the driver of plate PTN1234 was in the Purple Toe Nail club. The driver of plate EMC1234 was in the Eat More Chicken club. But my favorite was the driver with plate FNH1234 who was in the Funky Nose Hair club. That one had the kids in stitches… you had to be there I guess 🙂

These games worked for us, I hope they will make your next roadtrip to the beach or the grocery store a little bit funnier! Let me know what your car games are!

#CarGames #RoadtripsMadeEasier #WeGotTheGiggles #ElectronicsOff #LaughterIsTheBestMedicine #OutrageouslyOrdinary