Nice to meet you…

Thank you for visiting the Outrageously Ordinary site!  I appreciate you stopping by and want to assure you that once you get past the sarcasm, I am actually a devoted mother who loves her children more than anything.

I am trying to teach my children to see the hilarious in the mundane. My two babies (who aren’t babies anymore) keep me entertained and will undoubtedly be the star of this show. But even without them, random things just seem to happen to me. I’m like a walking “I Love Lucy” re-run really, minus the hunky Cuban husband.

I love people-watching and am endlessly fascinated by the saggy pants of the young and stupid, the black socks with sandals of the old and carefree, and everyone in between. When I’m not rocking motherhood, I am doing laundry. Getting clothes from the washer to the dryer before they start to smell is a weekly goal.

I also enjoy finding mysteriously sticky stains on the kitchen floor, praying for patience while cleaning the yellow dribble in the bathroom, holding back four-letter words while surgically removing tiny Lego pieces from my feet, chauffeuring the Miss and Mr to practices, lessons, school and playdates, and who doesn’t love a good Pokemon battle?

My kids are my life, and I am grateful every day for their loving hugs and sloppy kisses. Our faith keeps us grounded, our sarcasm keeps us laughing, everything else is a bonus!

So thank you for joining me on this crazy train!  Please send me your stories of funny motherhood mishaps, fatherhood follies and people of Walmart sightings.  We’ll make this site a collection of stories to keep us laughing through the adventures of parenting and hopefully through the teen years … hopefully.

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Ants in my pants

Saturday night. Date night. So, naturally, I’m at the movies with my mother.

About three quarters of the way into Book Club, watching Candice Bergen portray my future on the big screen, I scratch my arm and find an ant. As this was the third or fourth ant I had killed, I used the flashlight on my phone to investigate the chair.

What I found was a colony of ants teaming up to eat the bucket of nastiness that used to be popcorn.

What’s worse, because I had been sitting next to the scavenger party for an hour, they had lovingly accepted me as one of their own and were all over me. All. Over. Me.

I went to the bathroom to sweep the bodies off of me, only to find them everywhere. Every. Where.

After a few minutes in the stall to check for rogue ants, I headed for the concession stand to find a manager. A 12 year old in a suit walked up to me and listened to me retell the massacre that had just happened in the bathroom.

“Huh… That’s never happened before. I’ll get you some passes.”

“Random things like this happen to me all the time. Polite pass on the tickets though. This will always be the place where I had to sweep ants from my pants.”

#AntsInMyPants #MovieNightLaughs #DateNight #BookClub #Hilarious #ChristainGreyTemptsAllAges #FiftyShadesOfGrey #CandiceBergen #MurphyBrown #ILoveToLaugh #OutrageouslyOrdinary

Can-Can We Take A Break

I remember wondering why my parents would ask me to turn the volume down on my keyboard when I was young. I mean, why wouldn’t they want to hear my spicy rendition of Chopsticks again? Or a little Starship, “We Built This City”? Classic.

Now my children are taking piano and guitar lessons and I have a better understanding of the patience they had while I was perfecting my gift for creating chords.

Only, there is no volume control on our piano and the Can-Can is playing over and over again while My Guy practices… and then again in my head for hours after he’s done.

I may have to dust off the old keyboard and find old school headphones… He jams like a rockstar… I don’t go to the looney bin (quite yet).

#CanCanWeTakeABreak #TheCanCan #LoveMusicInTheHouse #MyGuyIsOnKeyboard #PianoLessonsAreFun #TheDaughtIsOnGuitar #MusiciansLearningCenter

No Bra Zone

I love this new stage of our mother-daughter relationship. The hatred of underwire only strengthens our bond.

#NoBraZone #BeFree #TheDaught #ThisSignIsStayingUp #SheCracksMeUp #TheJoysOfWomanhood #UnderWireIsTheDevil #OutrageouslyOrdinary

Ghost Busting

On this rainy Saturday, I thought it was about time my kids were introduced to the world of The Ghostbusters. My little brother inducted himself into the G.B. when the original movie came out (note the proton pack in the picture), which meant that it was only off long enough to rewind the tape. I can still recite the lines.

So we see it on Netflix and both kids start begging to watch it. My Guy asks if it’s scary. The Daught’s answer sealed the deal…

“It was probably more scary in mom’s day when it first came out in black and white .”

Punk!

It gets better…

We get to the part where Sigourney Weaver opens the fridge to find Zuul growling at her, and The Daught laughs out loud. “The real terror for mom would be that she had to go to back to the grocery store to replace the food.”

She’s a witty one.

#GhostBusting #Ghostbusters #Netflix #TheDaught #MyGuy #ClassicMovie #DontCrossTheStreams #Slimer #EgonForHalloween #BillMurrayMakesTheMovie #AnniePottsCracksMeUp #IHateGroceryShopping #QuickWit #OutrageouslyOrdinary

Happy Mother’s Day

Whether the baby is yours, hers, on the way, or in your prayers – Happy Mother’s Day to all the women with a mother’s heart!

#HappyMothersDay #MothersMakeMiracles #MomDay #MyMomIsAmazing #Happy #ParentingIsABlessing #TheDaught #NoGiftsNeeded #MyGuy #HugsKindOfWeekend #Grateful #Blessed #OutrageouslyOrdinary