Thank you for visiting the Outrageously Ordinary site! I appreciate you stopping by and want to assure you that once you get past the sarcasm, I am actually a devoted mother who loves her children more than anything.
I am trying to teach my children to see the hilarious in the mundane. My two babies (who aren’t babies anymore) keep me entertained and will undoubtedly be the star of this show. But even without them, random things just seem to happen to me. I’m like a walking “I Love Lucy” re-run really, minus the hunky Cuban husband.
I love people-watching and am endlessly fascinated by the saggy pants of the young and stupid, the black socks with sandals of the old and carefree, and everyone in between. When I’m not rocking motherhood, I am doing laundry. Getting clothes from the washer to the dryer before they start to smell is a weekly goal.
I also enjoy finding mysteriously sticky stains on the kitchen floor, praying for patience while cleaning the yellow dribble in the bathroom, holding back four-letter words while surgically removing tiny Lego pieces from my feet, chauffeuring the Miss and Mr to practices, lessons, school and playdates, and who doesn’t love a good Pokemon battle?
My kids are my life, and I am grateful every day for their loving hugs and sloppy kisses. Our faith keeps us grounded, our sarcasm keeps us laughing, everything else is a bonus!
So thank you for joining me on this crazy train! Please send me your stories of funny motherhood mishaps, fatherhood follies and people of Walmart sightings. We’ll make this site a collection of stories to keep us laughing through the adventures of parenting and hopefully through the teen years … hopefully.
Tonight is pizza and a movie night. We were all cuddled up and enjoying a movie (that only took them 20 minutes of debating to choose) when the devil’s own scent wafted it’s way to me.
We are now no longer cuddled up and have paused the movie so these monkeys can wash their feet.
I may have to burn the socks.
#SockScents #HowDoTheyStinkLikeThis #FootFunk #Kids #SmellMyFeet #PepeLePew #TheDaught #MyGuy #OutrageouslyOrdinary
I stopped at the gas station to fill up for the week. As I was waiting for the tank to fill, a little boy (maybe 5 years old) walked up to me with the biggest brown eyes I’ve ever seen and asked if he could wash my windows. I looked up to see his mom nervously smiling at me. We shared that silent mom grin that gives permission to talk to someone else’s child, but also pleads with them to be kind to their baby. I knelt down and asked him how much it would cost me, he said “maybe $1, ’cause I haven’t done this very much.”
With streaks of soap running down the doors and only the bottom half of the windows “clean”, I handed him $5. I told him he could keep half but had to use the other half to do something nice for someone else. He looked at me like Ed McMahon had handed him a million dollar check. He gave me the biggest hug and ran to his mom and said “Mom! I can get some candy and you can get some wine!”
I don’t think I’ve ever laughed that hard with a stranger.
#Carwash #ChildrenHaveTheBestOneLiners #LaughterIsTheBestMedicine #Parenting #WineAndCandy #IHuggedAFutureCEO #KidsSayTheDarndestThings #OutrageouslyOrdinary
I just heard my gifted child say “That is so fake.”
My other, equally gifted, child said, “I know, right.”
I look to see what they were watching… Bugs Bunny, circa 1980.
I state the obvious, and they both looked at me like my crazy pill dose had been prescribed too low.
Seriously. How did I walk out of that conversation as the fruitcake?
#Bugs #OldSchool #Cartoons #Fruitcake #ILikeTheOldCartoons #FakeNewsToFakeCartoons #OutrageouslyOrdinary
Currently listening to the precious sound of my little guy singing “Joy to the World”. Nothing warms my heart like the joy of music in a child.
Of course, the concert is coming from the bathroom where the acoustics are great and I can hear him throwing in a “TRA-LA-LAAAA” (the theme from Captain Underpants) every few verses.
These are the moments when I hope the Good Lord has a break in His day for a little giggle.
#BathroomConcerts #MyGuySingsConstantly #GodDefinitelyHasASenseOfHumor #MusicMakesAHappyHome #OutrageouslyOrdinary
Favorite quote of the day…
The Daught to My Guy as I was getting out of the shower this morning (they didn’t know I could hear them):
“Who needs normal when we have mom.”
Not sure what the context was but I’m grateful for their acceptance.
#WhoNeedsNormal #WeirdIsWonderful #CrazyRunsInMyFamily #KidsSayTheDarndestThings #OutrageouslyOrdinary
I had a terrible dream last night that I was caught in public without a stitch of anything covering my everything. I was walking around a park with every dimple, crack and crevice on display but the only thing I was concerned about was that my toenails weren’t painted. The fact that I may blind passersby with my pale, pigmentally-challenged skin was of no concern. It was my plain, paintless toes that were the source of my embarrassment.
Freud would have a field day with me.
#PaintlessToes #FreudChallenge #PalmToHead #IDreamEveryNight #OutrageouslyOrdinary
If turning the toilet seat yellow were an Olympic sport, my baby would win gold. I’m starting to see the appeal of those lovely 70’s colors.
#OlympicGold #CleaningOlympicGoldForSevenYearsNow #WhyCantBoysAim #CheeriosAreGreatFloatingTargets