Nice to meet you…

Thank you for visiting the Outrageously Ordinary site!  I appreciate you stopping by and want to assure you that once you get past the sarcasm, I am actually a devoted mother who loves her children more than anything.

I am trying to teach my children to see the hilarious in the mundane. My two babies (who aren’t babies anymore) keep me entertained and will undoubtedly be the star of this show. But even without them, random things just seem to happen to me. I’m like a walking “I Love Lucy” re-run really, minus the hunky Cuban husband.

I love people-watching and am endlessly fascinated by the saggy pants of the young and stupid, the black socks with sandals of the old and carefree, and everyone in between. When I’m not rocking motherhood, I am doing laundry. Getting clothes from the washer to the dryer before they start to smell is a weekly goal.

I also enjoy finding mysteriously sticky stains on the kitchen floor, praying for patience while cleaning the yellow dribble in the bathroom, holding back four-letter words while surgically removing tiny Lego pieces from my feet, chauffeuring the Miss and Mr to practices, lessons, school and playdates, and who doesn’t love a good Pokemon battle?

My kids are my life, and I am grateful every day for their loving hugs and sloppy kisses. Our faith keeps us grounded, our sarcasm keeps us laughing, everything else is a bonus!

So thank you for joining me on this crazy train!  Please send me your stories of funny motherhood mishaps, fatherhood follies and people of Walmart sightings.  We’ll make this site a collection of stories to keep us laughing through the adventures of parenting and hopefully through the teen years … hopefully.

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Paper Weight

The kids and I went to our favorite Asian restaurant, Ni Asian Kitchen, today for lunch. While waiting for My Guy to use the bathroom, The Daught said that she really loved going there. I told her I was glad she liked her lunch, and she said, “The food’s great but it’s the toilet paper. They have ‘I care about my customers’ kind of toilet paper, they don’t put out the cheap stuff.”

She cracks me up.

#PaperWeight #CustomersComeFirst #ToiletPaper #WeAreCharminLoyal #CharminStrong #NiAsianKitchen #GreatFoodFriendlyStaff #FortuneCookies #LoveAsianFood #KidsChopsticks #OutrageouslyOrdinary

Fairness

My Guy earned the Fairness award at school yesterday. He gave me a hug after this picture and said “too bad you can’t win awards anymore. Do they have awards for moms?”

Yes buddy, it’s called a no alarm clock kind of weekend.

“That’s it!”

That’s enough.

#MyGuy #ProudOfMyBoy #FairnessAward #PositivityProject #OtherPeopleMatter #OutrageouslyOrdinary

God Bless You

I had lunch with the Daught yesterday on a bench outside, just the two of us enjoying a beautiful, pollen-dusted day. We’re still paying for it this morning.

#SudafedSTAT #SheWasWorthTheRunnyNose #PollenYellowIsAnAwfulColor #GodBlessYou #OutrageouslyOrdinary

New Math

My confusion while my 7 year old teaches me new math… explain it one more time.

#NewMath #CommonCore #WhyCantYouJustCarryTheOne #RetrainTheBrain #MyGuy #KidsAreSoMuchSmarterThanWeWere #ExplainItAgain #HeWasVeryPatient #ILikeHistoryBetter #OutrageouslyOrdinary

Bowl Game

Rainy day fun with the kids and my mom meant bowling today. I was less than excited to go at first… wearing the well worn shoes of strangers has never been a favorite. I watched an employee “disinfect” a pair of used shoes and laughed out loud when she completely missed the inside of the shoe but put them on the shelf anyway.

But once we got going, we were laughing and cheering and making the kind of goofy memories that I hope we’ll always remember. Just being with each other, enjoying each other, and trying to beat Grandma at her own game!

#BowlGame #RaleighRainyDay #FamilyFun #BowlingBreaksNails #GrandmaWon #WeNeededBumpers #OutrageouslyOrdinary

Morning Chunks

The Daught woke me up at 3am a few days ago with a stomach ache that quickly turned into enough vomiting to clog a pipe. Literally.

It was the kind of night where you keep waiting for the grown-up to come help, only to realize you are the mom and the bile that was sprayed like water from a fire hose is now soaking into the carpet, and it’s up to you to pick up the chunks and clean it.

I’m thinking the stains that will not come out (after scrubbing with every product I can think of) are there to remind me that the “hard” days probably aren’t as hard as the night I just experienced.

The Daught is feeling better and is no longer practicing for the lead role of The Exorcist. My Guy and I seem to have avoided the plague but I’m watching him like a ticking time bomb.

I feel like I am the poster-mom of Clorox and Pepcid this week. I may have hated the clean up, but the cuddling has been worth it. I love these two little fruitcakes. “I know you do mom, you cleaned up my chunks and never complained once when you stepped in them.” – The Daught

#MorningChunks #SickBabiesBreakMyHeart #ParentingTrials #SingleParenting #CloroxQueen #TheDaughtIsTough #MyGuyHelpedSoMuch #NorovirusIsNoJoke #Pepcid #SpringBreakCancelled #MissingTheBeach #HealthyBabiesIsAllThatMatters #MotherdomInAllItsGlory #OutrageouslyOrdinary

Garden Smells

A big rain is coming, so after the kids left with their dad yesterday, I hurried to get more bulbs and plants in the ground. I’ll take a free watering any time I can get it!

I threw all my energy into ripping out a boxwood from the front of the house. I hate boxwoods. The roots of this horrid bush run everywhere. It took an hour to get the blame thing out of the ground. I didn’t work that hard giving birth.

I used the new hole to plant a hydrangea. It looked big at Home Depot but compared to the monstrosity it’s replacing, it now looks like a tiny shrunken head planted between the boxwoods (soon to be ripped out when my back stops hurting).

Once it was settled into it’s new spot, I got the fish fertilizer out to give the hydrangea a boost. That was the plan but as I was tripping over the shovel, I felt the full gallon of fishy water pour all over me.

There is no telling what the fertilizer will encourage. I’m hoping for bigger boobs but doubt I’m that lucky. While I wait to see what grows, the scent surrounds me and keeps the incident “fresh” on my mind.

Now I hate boxwoods and fish.

#GardenSmells #FertilizerFail #ThatHydrangeaBetterGrow #LoveGardening #SouthernTradition #CallaLilliesAreMyFavorite #YardWorkIsHardWork #ILostMyFreshFeeling #RaleighGardens #HomeDepot #OutrageouslyOrdinary