I am determined to get back into shape after the year I’ve had. I just want to feel like “me” again, with a little more energy, a little more saucy, and a lot more muscle. I acknowledge that my truly saucy twenties are long gone but I’m hoping my forties will bring a new level of oomph. So imagine my surprise when I was at the gym tonight and caught someone staring at my backside. I thought I was going crazy, but when I switched machines, I saw a row of eyes checking out the steps I was taking on the jelly leg machine (that’s what I call the elliptical). I’m not going to lie to you, I felt a little pep in my step. With the Pointer Sisters singing how excited they were for me in my headphones, I shook it without shame for the first time in a long time. By the time I hit the weights, row machine, and pretty much every corner of the gym, I felt a little of my old saucy come back. I got to the locker room feeling like a million bucks. I looked in the full length mirror and the ego I was going to have trouble fitting in the car deflated like a week old birthday balloon. The workout pants I had on have mesh netting going up the thigh. I washed them specifically to wear tonight but obviously should have added another dryer sheet to the laundry load. Underneath the mesh, pressed perfectly against my leg, was a pair of my son’s Captain Underpants underwear, with the logo perfectly displayed for everyone to check out… definitely stare worthy, just not the attention I was hoping for. #CaptainUnderpants #CaptainUnderpantsIsMyWingMan #JellyLegMachine #PepInMyStep #ThisIsForty #OutrageouslyOrdinary
Outrageously Ordinary 