Mom Tip

Mom tip I’ve learned #184,905

My kids are a little shy and my son’s best friend moved, leaving him to make new friends at school. He told me that lunch was kind of quiet at his table, no one really talked to each other “except for the people who still had best friends there.” It broke my heart so I started putting riddles in his lunch to spark conversation. Now the table begs him to read the latest riddle and they spend lunchtime working together to figure them out!

#MomTip #OutrageouslyOrdinary

Wow.

While being completely adorable tonight, My Guy told me that I’m not old, I’ve just existed for a long time.

Wow.

#Wow #MyGuy #DeepThoughtsByJackHandy #FromTheMouthOfBabes #LOL #AgingSemiGracefully #IfHeWerentSoCute #OutrageouslyOrdinary

Kid Thoughts

I love the way my kids think…

The Daught – When I grow up and get married, I want a big garage the man can fix things in.

Me – I heard a rumor that women can fix things too.

The Daught – Yeah, but I don’t wanna. He can do it, and have a whole room to keep his mess in.

Then later…

My Guy – How long have you been on hold with Spectrum, mom?

Me – Almost an hour.

My Guy – Does that count as cyber bullying?

Me – Yes. Yes it does.

My Guy – you want me to give it a go? I can probably fix it before they can.

Me – Yes. Yes I do.

And he did.

#KidThoughts #Goofball #TheDaught #MyGuy #KidsSayTheDarndestThings #OutrageouslyOrdinary

The Sarcasm Continues…

The Daught, also known as “Quick Wit”, sent me this today… the next generation of sarcasm continues…

Earlier today, I was helping a teacher at school drag a million pounds of something to the teachers lounge.

I was push she was pull.

Might I add, that pushing a million pounds of something is like lifting 6 weights with the benches?!?!

Anyway, we finally got it to the teachers lounge, and I immediately collapsed (what would you have done?!).

Talk about an old lady moment. Mom goes to the gym, I get stuck with P.E. You’d think that would be enough, right? Nope. More work. It’s not happening, but I guess you can laugh at the 11 year old who struggles to hold the milk.

She said, “I knew we could do it!” My response: “I get that we did it, and that’s great, but I really hope that there is a million pounds of, like, candy in here. I feel like I earned at least one Smarties.” She laughed, “Sure, sure. But we are not done quite yet.” I was totally bummed. I tried not to show it though, that would have been rude.

“I want to put it on that chair so it’s not in the middle of the floor,” she said.

If I wasn’t mistaken (I’m not), that would mean LIFTING the million pounds of something.

…10 SECONDS LATER…

We lifted it to the chair, “I am officially convinced. You are a wizard.” said she.

And holy moly, I just met She-Ra’s sister.

#TheSarcasmContinues #NextGeneration #QuickWit #TheDaught #SoProudOfMyGirl #AMillionPoundsOfSomething #WeLoveSheRa #OutrageouslyOrdinary

I’m Seeing Someone, Sweetheart

Any time I think I’m putting Richard Simmons to shame at the gym, I am put right back in my place by a 70+ year old man who is always there and could literally run circles around me. I saw him bench pressing 6 man hole covers tonight and told him he looked like Superman. His response… “I’m seeing someone, sweetheart.”

“All the good ones are, sir.”

#ImSeeingSomeoneSweetheart #IMetSuperman #GymTime #RichardSimmons #SuperMan #NeverBeUnderestimated #AllTheGoodOnesAreGone #OutrageouslyOrdinary