The Sarcasm Continues…

The Daught, also known as “Quick Wit”, sent me this today… the next generation of sarcasm continues…

Earlier today, I was helping a teacher at school drag a million pounds of something to the teachers lounge.

I was push she was pull.

Might I add, that pushing a million pounds of something is like lifting 6 weights with the benches?!?!

Anyway, we finally got it to the teachers lounge, and I immediately collapsed (what would you have done?!).

Talk about an old lady moment. Mom goes to the gym, I get stuck with P.E. You’d think that would be enough, right? Nope. More work. It’s not happening, but I guess you can laugh at the 11 year old who struggles to hold the milk.

She said, “I knew we could do it!” My response: “I get that we did it, and that’s great, but I really hope that there is a million pounds of, like, candy in here. I feel like I earned at least one Smarties.” She laughed, “Sure, sure. But we are not done quite yet.” I was totally bummed. I tried not to show it though, that would have been rude.

“I want to put it on that chair so it’s not in the middle of the floor,” she said.

If I wasn’t mistaken (I’m not), that would mean LIFTING the million pounds of something.

…10 SECONDS LATER…

We lifted it to the chair, “I am officially convinced. You are a wizard.” said she.

And holy moly, I just met She-Ra’s sister.

#TheSarcasmContinues #NextGeneration #QuickWit #TheDaught #SoProudOfMyGirl #AMillionPoundsOfSomething #WeLoveSheRa #OutrageouslyOrdinary

I’m Seeing Someone, Sweetheart

Any time I think I’m putting Richard Simmons to shame at the gym, I am put right back in my place by a 70+ year old man who is always there and could literally run circles around me. I saw him bench pressing 6 man hole covers tonight and told him he looked like Superman. His response… “I’m seeing someone, sweetheart.”

“All the good ones are, sir.”

#ImSeeingSomeoneSweetheart #IMetSuperman #GymTime #RichardSimmons #SuperMan #NeverBeUnderestimated #AllTheGoodOnesAreGone #OutrageouslyOrdinary

Car Games

In an attempt to end the backseat bickering of my beloved children, I invented a game today that actually made us laugh, kept their attention for at least half an hour and could help with young readers learning their ABC’s.

We played it two ways….

License plate pronunciation – try to pronounce the random letters on any plate to make a word. Then make up a definition for that “word”.

License plate acronyms – use the (generally) three letters on a plate to come up with an acronym of a club that driver belongs to. Example: the driver of plate PTN1234 was in the Purple Toe Nail club. The driver of plate EMC1234 was in the Eat More Chicken club. But my favorite was the driver with plate FNH1234 who was in the Funky Nose Hair club. That one had the kids in stitches… you had to be there I guess 🙂

These games worked for us, I hope they will make your next roadtrip to the beach or the grocery store a little bit funnier! Let me know what your car games are!

#CarGames #RoadtripsMadeEasier #WeGotTheGiggles #ElectronicsOff #LaughterIsTheBestMedicine #OutrageouslyOrdinary

Mopping

Me: The only way I’m mopping the floors today is if there is a huge spill…

My kids: Challenge accepted. Hold my juice box.

#Mopping #MopingAboutMopping #FullGlassOfSweetTea #TheDaught #KidsInTheKitchen #MyGuy #ThreeTowelsAndAMop #TheMessIsWorthTheMemories #WhereIsTheMaidWhenYouNeedHer #OutrageouslyOrdinary

Potty Talk

Just when I think people can’t shock me anymore, I run into someone new…

I was in the car most of yesterday shuffling children between camps in downtown Raleigh and Chapel Hill. Before I made my final trek home in rush hour traffic, I thought it wise to use the restroom.

I walked into a fast food restaurant’s restroom to find all stall doors open. I aimed for the largest stall to find a woman leaning back on the toilet, legs stretched out, pajamas at her ankles, with a big smile waiting for me.

“Ooooh, honey! I’m sorry, I just like going with the door open. You know what I mean?”

WHAT?! No. No I don’t.

I excused myself and went into the next stall where I heard the conversation continuing.

“I don’t like to be in tight spaces, you see. It feels so constricting. I like to look around and take my time. Sometimes you just need to take a minute to take a deep breath, you know?”

In the bathroom?! No. No, I don’t.

I opened my stall and headed to the sink where I found my new friend still talking.

“Nobody takes their time anymore. It’s such a hot day, it’s nice to just sit and get cool again.”

Seriously?! No.

“Welp, have a great day, sugar.”

I was left standing there, washing my hands, knowing there will never be a day in my life that I am that confident.

Even though I never technically spoke during our potty talk, we waved goodbye to each other as I left the restaurant because, let’s face it, we’re bonded now.

#PottyTalk #PeopleAmazeMe #SheNeverWashedHerHands #YouGoGirl #ConfidentWoman #CloseTheDoor #ICantUnseeThat #OutrageouslyOrdinary

All the feels

I was cleaning up this morning and found this. I’m not sure when the daught wrote it, but I laughed out loud at #7! She never ceases to amaze me with her perfect blend of loving heart and dry wit.

I’m going to laminate this to pull out during the teenage years.

#AllTheFeels #TheDaught #WhatADoll #GreatSurprise #Treasure #Keepsake #MyKidsAreMyGreatestBlessings #Sarcasm #PositivityProject #OutrageouslyOrdinary