I’m shopping in Brier Creek with the rest of Raleigh today. While waiting in line, a 70+ year old woman asked me if the outfit she was buying looked good for a party tonight.  I told her she would look beautiful and she said “Damn, I was going for hot.”  THEN she went into detail about how she was trying to make it impossible for her neighbor not to ask her out, she’s had her eye on him long enough and it’s time he made a move. “Nothing worse than a slow moving man.”  Bahahahaha! She just made shopping (my absolute least favorite thing) the best part of my day!  

#IWasGoingForHot #AmenSister #IWantToBeHerWhenIGrowUp #ThankGoodnessForAmazonPrime #ItsCoffeeBreakTime #ExcuseTheLanguage

The elder of my little fruitcakes started learning about human growth and development yesterday at school.  Like everyday, on the way home I asked the kids if they learned anything that surprised them…

This is the back seat conversation that followed.

Me: Learn anything that surprised you today?

The Daught: It’s body talk time for me. It’s all surprising and disturbing.

My little guy: What’s body talk time?

The Daught: It’s hair. Hair that grows everywhere.

My little guy: Everywhere?

The Daught: No spot is safe and no one can run from it.

My little guy: Cool.

The Daught: Cool until it’s in your face in class. You can’t unsee these things, bud.

#BodyTalkTime #HairAndHormones #MyBabyIsntABabyAnymore #OutrageouslyOrdinary 

I was almost late for work one day last week because I managed to lock myself and my children INSIDE the house and wasn’t willing to hop the fence…

My family is new to the elf on the shelf phenomenon. Our Henry made his appearance on Dec 1st. I knew there were thousands of support groups on Pinterest and Facebook who could walk us through the mischief an elf on the shelf can conjure. What I didn’t factor in was the level of expectation the kids would have for the mischief. 

Movement, yes. Mischief, no.

Our Henry seems to be a lazy elf. So far, to the bewilderment of the children, a messy white sugar cocktail is the only trouble-making adventure we’ve experienced. He doesn’t seem to be creative or mischievous at all. Maybe he doesn’t have time to search Pinterest for ideas like he thought he would. Maybe he’s tired. Maybe he forgot to set the alarm on his elf phone. Who knows.

But one night last week Henry was feeling a little naughty. The spirit moved him to hang from the chain on the front door with a handwritten note wishing us a wonderful day. Such a thoughtful elf, right?

I heard the squeals and excitement when the kids found him that morning and smiled at the magic little Henry has brought to the house. We finished getting ready and were about to unlock the door when my son stopped us in our tracks to point out that touching an elf causes him to lose all his magic.

Crap. 

I consider myself to be a relatively smart, creative person. I think about the bigger picture and what needs to happen to make the whole idea come together… At least I thought I was all of those things until Henry came to live with us. 

I knew the no touching rule, I’ve reinforced it several times. Now I’m glaring at this tiny elf hanging on the door like he’s a two ton barricade to the outside world. I tried to reason with the kids but the more excuses I made, the more upset they got.

Crap.

I felt like a crazy person, trying to come up with ways to get this elf down without letting him fall, hurting him or, God forbid, touching him.  Tongs, tweezers, a pillow to fall on… ugh. 

In the end, we got him down and laid him gently on the kitchen island. Just grateful to be free, I spent a very busy day laughing at our morning with friends. 

Until we got home that afternoon and the kids and I found Henry laying in the same spot on the counter. “Mom! You took his magic!”

Crap.

#O’Henry #ElfOnTheShelf  #HenryLived #OutrageouslyOrdinary 

And so it begins…

This is our first year experiencing the thrill of a troublesome elf in our home. The kids are older, starting to wonder, and even though the idea of finding our elf in precarious positions every morning is alittle daunting, I look forward to seeing their eyes sparkle at the magic of the season.  I would do anything to protect their innocent belief.  It’s not that I want them to stay little forever, it’s that I want them to hold on to the hope and marvel that can Christmas bring.

I may want to strangle our new little friend before the month is over, but for now, I choose to believe he’ll use his power for good.

Any advice or tips are appreciated. 

#ElfingAround #ElfOnTheShelf #NameIsToBeDetermined #IdeasWelcome #WhatHaveIDone #OutrageouslyOrdinary 

I had coffee with the sweetest man last night.  After decorating all day, I didn’t feel like making dinner so I went to the Whole Foods hot bar… such a wild Saturday night.  Jimmy walked up to me and asked if I could help him because he was a little unsteady after a long day. I filled his to-go box while learning that he had been at the hospital all day  while his first great grandchild “came into the light”. He was sad that his wife wasn’t here to meet little Madeline but he was proud to say the baby was as beautiful as she was.  We sat at the booth and talked about babies and how times had changed, over coffee and a snickerdoodle.  When we were saying goodbye, he kissed my hand and told me he was glad to bring a smile to kind eyes. 

I love how people are put in your path when you need a little something.  I got a little coffee and courting, and he got to boast about his beautiful ladies. 

Welcome to the light little Madeline!

#ComeIntoTheLight #HeKissedMyHand #GentlemenAreRare #OutrageouslyOrdinary

I am sorry to complain after a day centered around being thankful… but… I hate an ice cold toilet seat in the morning. It sends that awful shock wave right up your spine that takes your breath away and makes you cry out to to Jesus.

On the flip side though, a toilet seat that’s too warm can only mean one thing… you are sitting in the butt print of someone who was here just a minute before you doing something you don’t to think about. 

See… if you look hard enough, you really can find the blessing in any situation.

#ButtPrint #SomeLikeItWarm #CryOutToJesus #OutrageouslyOrdinary 

10 different countries have been on OutrageouslyOrdinary.com so far today which always makes me appreciate that parents across the world need a good laugh once in a while.  I feel privileged to be that laugh for you.

#Grateful  #OutrageouslyOrdinary 

It’s been a hard week, for many reasons.  I have definitely wished for a hug or two.  I dropped the kids off at their dad’s tonight and tried to squeeze them a little tighter to get my fill of their “cute juice”.

On my way out, their dad handed me a binder and told me to read it when I got home.  I haven’t ugly cried in a while but this caught me off guard.  The Daught has always had a huge heart, but the sass is strong in that one (who knows where she gets that) and we’ve had a few come to Jesus meetings lately.

The point of this is not to gloat that I have the absolute best daughter in the world (although… I heard the mic drop on this one), it’s not to boast that I’m a great mom, it is simply to say that no matter what you are doing, saying or feeling, children are watching and feeling right along with you.

Putting them first does not mean saying yes to everything, it means making their lives, their character and their future your priority.  I don’t teach the kids to say please and thank you because it’s the right thing to do, I teach them that people deserve your respect and “please” is a simple way to show it.  And I don’t just teach them to give that respect, I show them.

I’m not perfect, God knows I’m far from it, but showing them how much I love them isn’t just a quick “love you” at bed time.  It is giving them someone to look up to, helping them feel confident in their own decisions, creating a safe place to share their thoughts, encouraging them to be kids and make mistakes to learn from, but most of all it is making sure that before their little heads hit the pillow at night, they know there is nothing in this world that could take the love their dad and I have for them away.

I encourage you to do something special with your little guy or gal this weekend.  Use the time off to show them just how much you LIKE them, and that you couldn’t LOVE anything else more.

#Crying  #BestChristmasGiftEver  #NewTreasuredKeepsake  #OutrageouslyOrdinary

My children are constantly entertaining me…

Me: After you take a shower do you want to help me cook dinner?

My Little Guy: Sure, but do I have to get dressed first?

Me: Well, no but I think it’s a good idea to cover a few little things before cooking.

My Little Guy walks into the kitchen after his shower with safety glasses on, nothing else, and says “I’m ready.” 

… Not the little things I was talking about, bud.  

#NakedTime #ParentingLaughs #WeMayNeedApronsForChristmas #RollWithIt #OutrageouslyOrdinary 

This happened last year but will always be one of my favorite stories…

The kids and I were at California Pizza Kitchen eating lunch.  As we were being seated, I noticed an elderly man, proudly wearing his ranks and medals, sitting alone.  I asked our waitress if he had ordered yet, she said he had been done for quite a while.  I had her put his lunch on our bill but told her not to tell him who paid, just to thank him for his service.  

A few minutes later, I noticed them talking and he was crying. Apparently, he always met his friend and fellow veteran for lunch on Veterans Day, but the friend passed away a few months ago.   

He stood and thanked the room for whoever paid for his supper.  He was headed to the cemetery to say hello to his family and friends who had gone Home before him, including a grandson who died in Afghanistan.  He ended with a prayer for our Nation, that kindness and patriotism would always prevail over cynicism and shaming.

That sparked sniffles and tears in a solid 90% of the room. The wait staff was pulled to tables offering to pay for other tables, all of them living the lesson he had given.  

I won’t share my political views, but I will say that I agree with this brave man I met today.  It is simplistic to say kindness will fix all of our Nation’s problems, but patriotism for our United States is not too much to ask, and is a good start in getting past the hate and hurts we have seen this year.

#HappyVeteransDay #OutrageouslyOrdinary