I have a strict no-dish-washing-on-the-weekend policy.  I keep up with it all week, I work hard all week, I attempt to be a responsible grown up all week… by Friday night, I’m done with all that.

On Sunday the kitchen is usually a hot mess, but the laziness and extra play time has been worth it.  This weekend was a little different.  We had some kind of klutz hex on us that caused a crazy amount of spills, drips, drops and falls.

My brand new cup of hot coffee was kicked over in a tickling battle (and for those who don’t know me, my coffee cups are more like Jethro Bodine bowls).  It splashed all over my night stand, my (once) white fabric-covered head board, and sheets so a load of laundry was priority. But that meant I had to actually finish the load that was already in the washer.  And so the cycle began (pun intended).

A small jar broke while the kids were running around, sending glass all over the floor.  I swept it up, no problem, no cuts.  The trash can was full though so I took the bag out to shuffle some of the trash down before throwing the glass in it, but the bag broke sending chicken fat shavings everywhere.  A good mopping was necessary.

We did some closet purging since these not-so-little growth spurts that I live with keep
growing out of their clothes.  We loaded three bags of clothes to donate to North Raleigh Ministries Thrift Shoppe (they are wonderful about getting clothes and supplies to those that really need them).  On my way out to load the car with the bags, one of the kids closed the door just enough to send the sea shell wreath into my head.  It looks like a little scratch, but I felt the blame thing hit bone and the bruising I woke up with is quite attractive.  Ice helped the swelling though so I no longer look like Quasimodo.

And last but I’m sure not least, it snowed today in Raleigh, NC.  I don’t know if Mother Nature is going through a bad break up or the stress of the job has finally caused some drinking, but it snowed.  It melted fairly quickly, thank goodness, which has left just enough mud to give the dogs a day at the spa.  They love to play and lay in it like a mud bath, and since it’s too cold to leave them outside, they must come in.  I have a white couch and newly mopped floors… You know what’s coming, 1+1 always equals 2.  There is no chance that one or both of those things will be clean by the end of the day.

I give up (said with laughter).  My attempts at cleanliness and responsible grown up activities will be postponed until further notice.  I feel like the universe is telling me to sit down before I hurt myself… again.

#KlutzHex

#NothRaleighMinistriesThriftShoppe

#HowDoWeHaveThisMuchLaundry

#YouCanFindMeOnTheCouch

I just got home from dinner with a friend.  We sat outside eating, talking, laughing and relaxing.  It was perfect, I walked in the front door still smiling.  I locked the door and heard a voice in the back of the house.

Good feeling gone.

I walked as quietly as I could into the kitchen while getting my phone out to have 911 on standby.  The dogs were following me and looking around the corner which only made my heart race more.

I grabbed the Chinese cleaver and held my thumb over the dial button, ready to call.  I inched down the hall and although it was muffled, I clearly heard a voice.

Closer and closer to my room, the voice got louder and louder.  The dogs growled which sent chills up my spine and gave me the green light to hit dial.

“911 what is your emergency?”

“I think someone has broken into my house.”

“Where are you now ma’am?”

“I’m holding a Chinese cleaver in the hallway ready to carve whoever is in my bedroom.”

“Ma’am, I need you to find a secure location…”

“Nevermind, I’m safe.”

“Ma’am, do you see the intruder?”

“No, I see my computer open and the Wild Kratt brothers are on another creature adventure.”

“Are the children with you ma’am?”

“No.”

“I’m guessing there won’t be computer play time for a while.”

Good guess 911 lady, good guess.

UPDATE: Autocorrect is the bane of my existence! Thanks to my mother for laughing at me and with me, and for letting me know I should put the “Chinese clever” away in this post. 

#ChineseCleaversAndNineOneOne

#WildKrattsScaredTheCrapOutOfMe

#CleaverWillStayOnMyNightStandTonight

#IReallyDoKnowHowToSpellCleaver

 

This week I did something completely foreign to me, something far out of my comfort zone, something I have always had a partner doing but found out I’m fine doing by myself from now on…

I filed my taxes.

This is the first time in 13 years that I’ve filed solo, without someone over my shoulder to make any corrections necessary or to answer my endless questions.  You see, I’m a bit of a girl scout when it comes to things like this.  If I earned $.50 of interest in an old bank account, I want to declare it.  I understand that it won’t make a difference but I’d rather put all my tiny chips on the IRS table.

I used TurboTax which is basically like a Filing Your Taxes For Dummies site that makes everything extremely easy and user friendly.  I highly recommend it, and have officially put the creators of TurboTax on my “Thanks Be To God” list of things that make my life easier.

I even appreciate their sarcasm… Working for the State has it’s perks, but my paycheck is not one of them.  When I typed my salary into TurboTax, it actually popped up as an error and said “We believe we have entered your salary incorrectly, surely you’ve forgotten a zero … alright, it didn’t say that last part but it did have trouble believing that was my actual salary.

In the end, I got through it unscathed and with no battle scars or windows broken from throwing the computer through them.

Flying solo isn’t so scary after all.

#SingleFile

#TurboTax

#GratefulTheTaxesAreDone

There are very few things in this life that force me to slow down. I like being busy. I like juggling 1,000 projects in the air. I love the hustle and bustle of working hard and pushing the limits of what I can do. I like the rat race. I wanted to be Diane Keaton in “Baby Boom” when I was in high school.   Still do.

But a sick baby will make me drop anything like a hot potato and slam on the brakes of life. 

They are the most pitiful little creatures when they are sick, aren’t they?  Their weak eyes, sad whispered voices, tiny clammy hands, funky little sick breath that you can’t help but snuggle up to. 

And I hate to admit this, but it’s nice to be needed again. The cuddles are fantastic. The appreciation for every glass of juice you bring is unprecedented, which only lights a fire under me to get it faster and in their special cup. 

After a full day of this, I can tell you that I would do anything to switch places and take the sick from him. I would happily accept the fever if it meant he was his normal, gregarious self again.  

For his health, of course, but also because the medicine I’m giving him has upset his belly. Not enough to cause frequent bathroom trips, just enough to make my room and, more specifically, my sheets that he’s curled up so preciously in, smell like rotten eggs. 

It gave us a giggle the first time he let a good one rip. It was so fierce that I made him check his tighty whities for burn marks (aka: skid marks). 

It made me laugh when he lifted his head from my chest and under a blanket of long eyelashes, his baby blue eyes beamed as he said “Sorry mommy” mere seconds before the egg hit me like a ton of rotten bricks. 

And he cracked me up when his sister laid down beside him, right into the crop dusting he had released seconds before.

The cute has worn off now though, and all I smell in this house is egg.  I’m waiting for the paint to start peeling and the dogs to start walking into walls.  I’m hoping the mushroom cloud doesn’t release when the door opens in the morning and affect the neighborhood children. 

Bless him, he’s still not feeling well and will have to stay home again tomorrow.  He’s going to be with his dad all day and have a fun day of doing manly things.

I’m not sure even his dad will be able to compete in this game… but I can’t wait to hear about the competition.  Let’s make all this our little secret until then.

I do love surprises!

#EggsWithDinner

#SickBabiesNeedTheirMamas

#AllDayCuddles

Since NC is experiencing an early summer in February, I decided to break out the shorts for the kids.  They are, of course, neatly balled up and organized in the dark and dusty back corner of each child’s closet marked “these are still kind of roomy, hopefully we can save a small fortune on a new wardrobe and they can wear this next summer”.

But, alas, they have each grown a foot and what were nice shorts are now Daisy Duke inspired and incredibly tight on tiny legs (not a good look, especially for my boy).  So off to Target we go… and Kohl’s… and Macy’s… and Old Navy.

What is going on with girl’s clothes lately?  We found boy’s clothes in every store we went to.  Easy shopping, lots of cute stuff, several sizes to choose from, purchases made and checked off the list.  My kind of shopping.

But the girl’s clothes are covered in glitter, stupid sayings, random animals, more glitter, ruffles, lace, many are see through, or have been bedazzled to the point that it weighs more than my daughter.  It’s awful!

Add to that, she is a no frills, no dresses, no apologies for it, tomboy.

Add to that, neither one of us like shopping.  We, quite literally, would rather be doing anything else.

Sporty Spice and I searched for hours for scraps – both of us frustrated, neither of us satisfied with what we found.  So off to the house we go for a little AmazonSmile time.  I am a veteran Amazon shopper, but new to https://smile.amazon.com.  You shop like you always do, but a portion of your purchases goes towards whatever organization you choose.  My donations are sent to my children’s school and The Wounded Warriors Project.

Next time you need to go shopping, think about giving back while you do it.  And if you find any de-glittered, cute, animal-free girls clothes, shoot me an email.  Sporty Spice and I would appreciate it!

#ShoppingWithASmile

#AmazonSmile

#BedazzlingIsNeverAGoodIdea

 

 

 

Someone please invent a magical fairy dust that will allow my children to sleep as long and deeply on the weekends as they do on a school day. 

I was cuddled up with my pillow this morning, enjoying the “late” hour (7am) when my little guy walked in and curled up behind me.  I told him I wanted a lazy morning in bed and that he could turn the TV on and watch whatever he wanted. 

When my daughter joined the cuddle time I was in heaven. They were watching a cartoon, I was resting my eyes. Great Saturday morning send off into the weekend.

That lasted approximately three minutes before my son whispered “I’m hungry”.  My daughter whispered back “Just wake her up slowly and tell her there’s coffee”.  Ha!

It got me thinking though, they are definitely old enough to learn the 1-2-3’s of making coffee.  After all, it does benefit the whole family apparently.

#WeekendAlarmClocks

#TheyHaveThisScheduleBackwards

#WeekendBlissWithMyBabies

After a wicked day at work, I came home to holes in the yard where new bulbs were planted over the weekend (rabbits), a freezer left open allowing everything in it to melt, a dog crate full of accidents, and to top it all off I had to wave goodbye to my babies as they left for the night.

Not my best day.

I needed to go brainless for a while.  I put on comfy clothes, poured a glass of dinner and laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling, waiting for the calm after the storm.

But all I saw was the dust on the fan blades.  No answers there, only more chores.

I reached for the Burt’s Bees I keep on my night stand but it wasn’t there.  I halfheartedly looked but gave up to get another tube from my purse.  I say purse loosely because it’s the size of the bag Mary Poppins kept her lamps in.

I’m digging… digging… can’t find it.  Cussing… cussing… can’t find it.

In a wave of pure frustration, I dumped the whole bag on my bed.  Found it.

But now I’ve got a hot mess and since I’m the mess maker, I start cleaning it up.  Wallet. Keep.  Happy meal toy.  Toss.  Ray Bans.  Keep.  50 Shades Darker ticket.  Toss.  And so began the archaeological dig of the last month’s events.

But at the bottom of the pile, I found a note that made me forget all the fuss and frustrations…

Because I am loved.

#ImLoveingYouMore

#YouThoughtTheTitleHadATypo

#KidsGiveGoodHugsOnBadDays