Chinese Cleaver & 911

I just got home from dinner with a friend.  We sat outside eating, talking, laughing and relaxing.  It was perfect, I walked in the front door still smiling.  I locked the door and heard a voice in the back of the house.

Good feeling gone.20170212_183441.jpg

I walked as quietly as I could into the kitchen while getting my phone out to have 911 on standby.  The dogs were following me and looking around the corner which only made my heart race more.

I grabbed the Chinese cleaver and held my thumb over the dial button, ready to call.  I inched down the hall and although it was muffled, I clearly heard a voice.

Closer and closer to my room, the voice got louder and louder.  The dogs growled which sent chills up my spine and gave me the green light to hit dial.

“911 what is your emergency?”

“I think someone has broken into my house.”

“Where are you now ma’am?”

“I’m holding a Chinese cleaver in the hallway ready to carve whoever is in my bedroom.”

“Ma’am, I need you to find a secure location…”

“Nevermind, I’m safe.”

“Ma’am, do you see the intruder?”

“No, I see my computer open and the Wild Kratt brothers are on another creature adventure.”

“Are the children with you ma’am?”


“I’m guessing there won’t be computer play time for a while.”

Good guess 911 lady, good guess.

UPDATE: Autocorrect is the bane of my existence! Thanks to my mother for laughing at me and with me, and for letting me know I should put the “Chinese clever” away in this post. 






One thought on “Chinese Cleaver & 911

  1. Travis Williams March 8, 2017 / 2:22 pm

    You done good, kiddo. Glad you’re safe. We’re occasionally shaken by a talking toy that has a low battery. Why do low batteries seem to bring interactive toys to life…in the night? Always in the night! When you’re groggy and can’t discern toy from intruder.

    Liked by 1 person

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