Outrageously Ordinary

As most mothers will agree, getting your children to school on time, looking nice with all appropriate parts brushed, is like jumping hurdles every morning – speed is a factor, but over-coming the obstacles is the point of the race.

There really should be some kind of parent Olympics that involve brushing hair without tears, brushing teeth without tantrums, getting dressed without threats and scarfing down breakfast without choking.

I wouldn’t win, I just think it would be fun to watch others go through it.

After all of that is done and the kids are safely at school with a big “I love you” and embarrassing kiss in front of their friends, it usually occurs to me about an hour later that I never ate breakfast.

This morning was a late one, a true Monday, so it was almost 11am before it dawned on me that the shakes I had were from a lack of sustenance and not an overwhelming excitement to be alive.  Thankfully, the kind women I work with made homemade cookies that were absolutely incredible.

I was washing down my second “breakfast” cookie this morning with a French Vanilla Slim Fast, when I laughed out loud at myself.

I eat like a frat boy.

A Slim Fast with a cookie (or two… three if you count the one at the end of the day) is like ordering a big mac and fries with a Diet Coke.  Makes no sense.

I can polish off a pizza by myself, but I’ll drink it with water because water is healthy.  Makes no sense.

When the kids aren’t here and I don’t have to feed the little speed growers, I’ll have chips and salsa and a glass of wine in mom’s special glass that could double as a rain barrel.  Makes no sense.

Instead of taking my own snacks to work, I’ll pick through the kid’s leftover lunch bits and complain of starvation.  Makes no sense.

I’m not sure when the grown up in me will take over my diet decisions, but for now I am content living the Frat Boy Diet and maintaining status quo.

#fratboydiet   #dominosknowsmyname   #veggiepizzaishealthierthanplaincheese   #slimfastforbreakfast   #usanavitaminskeepmehealthy   #goodgeneskeepmyCBCnormal