I got up before the sun came up this morning, as usual.
I made coffee in the dark while grumbling about being up before the sun was up, as usual.
I bumped into walls on my way back to my room, while sipping coffee and wishing I wasn’t up before the sun was up, as usual.
I got into a scalding hot shower and waited for the caffeine to kick in, as usual.
Before the magic coffee beans had a chance to kiss me from my trance, I was jolted into focus by a horrid CRASH! BANG! BOOM!
I caused an F6 tornado flying out of the shower to see which one of the kids had fallen and gotten the concussion. I raced to find them laughing with Phineas & Ferb, absolutely unaware of the reason I would be standing in front of them completely naked, soaking wet and wild-eyed.
I headed back to the bathroom, convinced that I was going crazy, when I passed by my closet and saw that an entire wall of shelving and rods had succumbed to the pressure after 11 years. The screws holding the shelves, may they rest in pieces, were no where near the studs and left quarter-size holes in the dry wall. 
(There is one tiny but mighty screw left on the wall that I will put in a place of honor somewhere this weekend. Maybe near the door to hold something light, give him a break after all these years.)
This was, of course, the rare moment in time when all laundry was done AND hung, so practically every piece of clothing I own was on the floor of the closet. I stood at the door in shock, wondering how in the world I was going to fix this next saga when the shampoo reached my eyes and I went soap blind for the next few minutes.
After regaining my vision, drying off and robing up, I took a little swim through Memory Lane in the closet and found all kinds of tops I hadn’t worn in years in the thigh-high pile of clothes.
I don’t even know where to start to fix this but I do know this… Home Depot is going to have my credit card on speed dial this weekend.
My drill is charging, we are preparing for battle. I plan to do a lot of measuring, swearing and purging this weekend. Stay tuned to hear what happens because you know SOMETHING is going to happen… after all, it’s me.
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Outrageously Ordinary 