I had lunch with the Daught yesterday on a bench outside, just the two of us enjoying a beautiful, pollen-dusted day. We’re still paying for it this morning.

#SudafedSTAT #SheWasWorthTheRunnyNose #PollenYellowIsAnAwfulColor #GodBlessYou #OutrageouslyOrdinary

My confusion while my 7 year old teaches me new math… explain it one more time.

#NewMath #CommonCore #WhyCantYouJustCarryTheOne #RetrainTheBrain #MyGuy #KidsAreSoMuchSmarterThanWeWere #ExplainItAgain #HeWasVeryPatient #ILikeHistoryBetter #OutrageouslyOrdinary

Rainy day fun with the kids and my mom meant bowling today. I was less than excited to go at first… wearing the well worn shoes of strangers has never been a favorite. I watched an employee “disinfect” a pair of used shoes and laughed out loud when she completely missed the inside of the shoe but put them on the shelf anyway.

But once we got going, we were laughing and cheering and making the kind of goofy memories that I hope we’ll always remember. Just being with each other, enjoying each other, and trying to beat Grandma at her own game!

#BowlGame #RaleighRainyDay #FamilyFun #BowlingBreaksNails #GrandmaWon #WeNeededBumpers #OutrageouslyOrdinary

The Daught woke me up at 3am a few days ago with a stomach ache that quickly turned into enough vomiting to clog a pipe. Literally.

It was the kind of night where you keep waiting for the grown-up to come help, only to realize you are the mom and the bile that was sprayed like water from a fire hose is now soaking into the carpet, and it’s up to you to pick up the chunks and clean it.

I’m thinking the stains that will not come out (after scrubbing with every product I can think of) are there to remind me that the “hard” days probably aren’t as hard as the night I just experienced.

The Daught is feeling better and is no longer practicing for the lead role of The Exorcist. My Guy and I seem to have avoided the plague but I’m watching him like a ticking time bomb.

I feel like I am the poster-mom of Clorox and Pepcid this week. I may have hated the clean up, but the cuddling has been worth it. I love these two little fruitcakes. “I know you do mom, you cleaned up my chunks and never complained once when you stepped in them.” – The Daught

#MorningChunks #SickBabiesBreakMyHeart #ParentingTrials #SingleParenting #CloroxQueen #TheDaughtIsTough #MyGuyHelpedSoMuch #NorovirusIsNoJoke #Pepcid #SpringBreakCancelled #MissingTheBeach #HealthyBabiesIsAllThatMatters #MotherdomInAllItsGlory #OutrageouslyOrdinary

A big rain is coming, so after the kids left with their dad yesterday, I hurried to get more bulbs and plants in the ground. I’ll take a free watering any time I can get it!

I threw all my energy into ripping out a boxwood from the front of the house. I hate boxwoods. The roots of this horrid bush run everywhere. It took an hour to get the blame thing out of the ground. I didn’t work that hard giving birth.

I used the new hole to plant a hydrangea. It looked big at Home Depot but compared to the monstrosity it’s replacing, it now looks like a tiny shrunken head planted between the boxwoods (soon to be ripped out when my back stops hurting).

Once it was settled into it’s new spot, I got the fish fertilizer out to give the hydrangea a boost. That was the plan but as I was tripping over the shovel, I felt the full gallon of fishy water pour all over me.

There is no telling what the fertilizer will encourage. I’m hoping for bigger boobs but doubt I’m that lucky. While I wait to see what grows, the scent surrounds me and keeps the incident “fresh” on my mind.

Now I hate boxwoods and fish.

#GardenSmells #FertilizerFail #ThatHydrangeaBetterGrow #LoveGardening #SouthernTradition #CallaLilliesAreMyFavorite #YardWorkIsHardWork #ILostMyFreshFeeling #RaleighGardens #HomeDepot #OutrageouslyOrdinary

On a whim, I painted my front door a beachy blue today.  The door looks great but needs a new door knocker.  As I was looking up ideas, a site on “what your door color says about you” popped up.  I clicked on it to learn that a blue door symbolizes stability, tranquility, and peace.

A second after I learned that my life will forever now be calm, the fire alarm went off (dead battery).  While I was trying to stop the blaring siren, the oven timer went off.  When I got to the oven to stop the beeping, my phone rang.  All of this causing the dogs to go bat crap crazy.

I’m thinking the house still thinks the door is red.

#FeelingBlue  #BeachBlue  #HomeImprovements  #FrontDoorColors  #HomeDepot  #HateToPaint  #LoveHomeProjects  #NoKidsWeekendMeansHouseProjects  #RedDoorNoMore  #OutrageouslyOrdinary

#MyGuy had a last minute playdate today so #TheDaught and I went out to lunch at one of our favorite places. While we were eating she asked if she could use the bathroom. I laughed and said of course but she lingered and asked if I was sure. “Are you about to take the keys and leave me here?” She laughed and left to do her business.

After lunch we went to #Fresh for the best ice cream in Raleigh. She looked at me with real concern and apologized for going to the bathroom at lunch. What in the world could she be sorry for?

“On most dates, when someone leaves the table it’s because the conversation is awkward or they’re bored and going to phone a friend or something. But that’s not why I left you alone, I like talking to you.”

I laughed so hard and asked how she knew that…

“I don’t know, you just pick these things up.”

Gotcha.

#AwkwardDates #DatingTips #KidsSayTheDarndestThings #DatingTipsAndTricks #PhoneAFriend #PFChangs #FreshIceCream #MomDaughterDates #OutrageouslyOrdinary

Tonight is pizza and a movie night. We were all cuddled up and enjoying a movie (that only took them 20 minutes of debating to choose) when the devil’s own scent wafted it’s way to me.

We are now no longer cuddled up and have paused the movie so these monkeys can wash their feet.

I may have to burn the socks.

#SockScents #HowDoTheyStinkLikeThis #FootFunk #Kids #SmellMyFeet #PepeLePew #TheDaught #MyGuy #OutrageouslyOrdinary

I stopped at the gas station to fill up for the week. As I was waiting for the tank to fill, a little boy (maybe 5 years old) walked up to me with the biggest brown eyes I’ve ever seen and asked if he could wash my windows. I looked up to see his mom nervously smiling at me. We shared that silent mom grin that gives permission to talk to someone else’s child, but also pleads with them to be kind to their baby. I knelt down and asked him how much it would cost me, he said “maybe $1, ’cause I haven’t done this very much.”

With streaks of soap running down the doors and only the bottom half of the windows “clean”, I handed him $5. I told him he could keep half but had to use the other half to do something nice for someone else. He looked at me like Ed McMahon had handed him a million dollar check. He gave me the biggest hug and ran to his mom and said “Mom! I can get some candy and you can get some wine!”

I don’t think I’ve ever laughed that hard with a stranger.

#Carwash #ChildrenHaveTheBestOneLiners #LaughterIsTheBestMedicine #Parenting #WineAndCandy #IHuggedAFutureCEO #KidsSayTheDarndestThings #OutrageouslyOrdinary

I just heard my gifted child say “That is so fake.”

My other, equally gifted, child said, “I know, right.”

I look to see what they were watching… Bugs Bunny, circa 1980.

I state the obvious, and they both looked at me like my crazy pill dose had been prescribed too low.

Seriously. How did I walk out of that conversation as the fruitcake?

#Bugs #OldSchool #Cartoons #Fruitcake #ILikeTheOldCartoons #FakeNewsToFakeCartoons #OutrageouslyOrdinary