Ants in my pants

Saturday night. Date night. So, naturally, I’m at the movies with my mother.

About three quarters of the way into Book Club, watching Candice Bergen portray my future on the big screen, I scratch my arm and find an ant. As this was the third or fourth ant I had killed, I used the flashlight on my phone to investigate the chair.

What I found was a colony of ants teaming up to eat the bucket of nastiness that used to be popcorn.

What’s worse, because I had been sitting next to the scavenger party for an hour, they had lovingly accepted me as one of their own and were all over me. All. Over. Me.

I went to the bathroom to sweep the bodies off of me, only to find them everywhere. Every. Where.

After a few minutes in the stall to check for rogue ants, I headed for the concession stand to find a manager. A 12 year old in a suit walked up to me and listened to me retell the massacre that had just happened in the bathroom.

“Huh… That’s never happened before. I’ll get you some passes.”

“Random things like this happen to me all the time. Polite pass on the tickets though. This will always be the place where I had to sweep ants from my pants.”

#AntsInMyPants #MovieNightLaughs #DateNight #BookClub #Hilarious #ChristainGreyTemptsAllAges #FiftyShadesOfGrey #CandiceBergen #MurphyBrown #ILoveToLaugh #OutrageouslyOrdinary

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