State Fair Air

I’ve never been a fan of crazy, big crowds.  

A Canes game is fine because everyone has their own chair, their own spot to settle in.  Even if they go nuts over a goal, their “WOOOOO’s” are generally controlled to that space.  

Concerts are alright because, again, everyone has a place to aim. And once the music starts, you are too busy clapping and dancing in your spot to bother anyone else. Even if the crazy fans are singing at the top of their lungs and couldn’t find the right key with a flashlight, my ears are ringing at that point so I can’t hear them anyway. 

With the exceptions noted, I really don’t like big crowds. But I will do anything to be with my children and see them smile.

Enter the State Fair.

The last time I went to the Fair was in 2003. I had just moved to Raleigh, I was young and carefree, and was promised a good time. That night, someone burned me with a cigarette butt and I watched a grown man vomit a giant turkey leg (and a lot of beer) after getting off one of those spinning rides. The splash of it caused my favorite jeans to be thrown away as soon as I got home.  That’s after I had to walk a mile to the car with the rank and rancid smell of a stranger’s good time on me.

That was the end of the fair in my world. 

But today was a new day. I was going to give it a second chance and was determined to have fun with the kids. 

I have never seen so much camouflage in my life. It was educational really. They come in all kinds of colors and patterns now, I had no idea.

And the tattoos, good Lord, the tattoos.  They were on every other person I saw. Some detailed and well done, others looked like drunken friends played connect the dots with sharpees. 

Airbrushing. Why must we spray paint our names onto t-shirts? There was a line around the corner to have license plates and t-shirts airbrushed, like they need to broadcast the redneckery. 

And last, but not least, the food. As you know, we have a frightening obesity problem in the good old US of A. I gained 5 pounds just breathing in the Fair air. The amount of fried foods was incredible.  But it was the things that were fried that cracked me up. Snickers, twinkies and oreos are so sweet already, adding batter, lard and powdered sugar seems a bit much. But I am clearly in the minority because hundreds of people were lined up everywhere buying sticks of fried everything. 

The Fair and I just don’t equal a good time. But, I will say this… I’d do it again to see their smiles.

That’s a lie, I’d do it again for the easy bed time. These kids dropped like bricks when we got home.

Gotta love the Fair!

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