Outrageously Ordinary

Taking a shower with children in the house is always a game of Russian Roulette.  You never know when or how many times you will be interrupted… what or how much they will see… when or how many questions you’ll get about hair growth and differentiating body parts… Unless you need something.

Is it just me or do the children completely disappear when you are in the shower with no soap?

I used all of my body wash the other day and should have replaced it then but was distracted.  Rookie mistake.  So I get in the shower, wash my hair, reach for the wash and got that sinking feeling when I see the empty spot where the bottle should be.

The kids are home so I yell for the girl.  I yell again.  Nothing.  I yell for the boy.  I yell again.  Nothing.  My house is tiny so it’s not like I have far to go, but it’s cold out there and I just shaved so I have no coat to keep me warm.

I yell for the girl a little louder.  Nothing.  I yell for the boy a little louder.  Nothing.  One more time will surely catch their attention, right?  I let out this blood curdling scream that Alfred Hitchcock would be proud of.  Nothing.  Ugh.

I squeeze as much water out of my hair as possible and then do the tip-toed drip dance to the cabinet.  It’s hidden in there, of course, so after leaving my puddle, I race back to the warm water covered in goosebumps and needing to shave all over again.

Shower complete, fresh feeling found, I open the curtain to find an audience of both children asking me for a snack.

Let the body parts questions begin.