Outrageously Ordinary

There are very few things that relax me like a good massage. All of my stress is in my neck so I walk around carrying boulders on my shoulders. 

I went to a massage place to have the boulders removed and relax a little.  I explained to the guy that now was not the time for him to get dainty.  I’m not into the soft stuff. Use your elbows, knees, a jackhammer, whatever it takes to get the knots out.

He started on my lower back and holy moly, he was good at his job. I could feel the knots sprinting away and I couldn’t hold back the little moan of relief. By the time Magic Fingers got to my neck, I didn’t even try to hold the moans back.

When he was done I thanked him and said I was sorry for all the moaning but I felt so much better. His reply…

“No problem.  I get that alot with women your age.  But you really should come in more often, you have issues.” (Pointing to his shoulders)

Kid, you have no idea.