Thanksgiving means alot of things to my family…

Spending six hours in the kitchen cooking our favorite recipies, and making the new one someone found on-line. Everyone picking and nibbling as we make the meal, so that by the time we sit down to eat we are half full already. 

Remembering those that have gone Home before us and taking a second to tell tales on them, both real and tall.

Laughing. Lots of laughing.

Racing to the bathroom to freshen up minutes before everyone arrives because your pajamas are covered in flour and whatever went flying from the blenders and beaters.

Hugging and kissing the relatives who come to town with exhausted enthusiasm.

Feeling the peace of prayer at a table full of people who love you, but are far more interested in what the kids are up to.

Leaning back with a moan after eating twice your normal amount, in pants that don’t allow for the sudden muffin top growth.

Praising the chefs for spending the day on their feet creating culinary greatness.  Promising that you loved what they made, the only reason it’s the only thing left on your plate is because you ate everything else too fast… uh-huh.

Following that statement with a plate full of delicious desserts that only make the button of your pants push into your stomach that much deeper. 

Then, the clean up.  The realization of exactly how many dishes, serving bowls, pots, pans, silverware, servingware, and bread baskets you used for this incredible meal, and how you would be willing to put a second mortgage on your home to pay someone to make it all go away.

And finally, that glorious moment when you are free to unleash the gut, take a deep breath and put your beloved fat pants on. God bless elastic waste bands.

Football and snoring ensue.  It’s the only day in my year that I take a nap, which is why I’m writing you good people at 1:30am.  

At the end of the day, my hope is that we walk away with new memories, stories and laughter that will make me smile until next year . 

So, in the season when our hearts grow a little larger, our spirits lift a little higher and family becomes the focus – may we all have one day free of differences and troubles… after the dishes are washed, of course.

Happy Thanksgiving!

#FoodFamilyAndFatPants

#DietStartsTomorrow

#LeftOversAreCallingMyName

Every once in a while, my sweet son, my pride and joy, my baby forever, won’t eat. 

When I say he won’t eat, I don’t mean completely, of course. If I put a milkshake in front of him he would suck it down like he’d been walking the Sahara for days.  If a bag of Chick-fil-A chicken nuggets were on his plate he would push his sister out of her chair to eat hers as well.  He eats, but it’s a self-imposed restricted diet. And it makes me INSANE.  

I don’t cook like I did before single parenting took over, but I love to try new recipes and experiment in the kitchen. I can’t do that with Capt Cantankerous at the table with his no veggies, no sauces, no spices, any sugar, any time diet.

So I get inventive… 

As the video shows, I am not above treating the table like a trough and my children like piggies. Did I enjoy cleaning up the mess after this? Nope. But did it make me smile even though the sauce stained the fabric on the seat? Yep.

He ate. He ate and I didn’t have to get frustrated – which would have been easy to be after 45 minutes of pleading. His sister caught on to my scheme early on and made us laugh harder at the amount of sauce she got up her nose.

They had fun. Hell, I had fun. And he ate. 

It was a great end to a great weekend!

#DinnerDares

#PatienceIsAVirtueIDontAlwaysHave

#MemoriesAreMadeBetterByTheMess

#TimeToRecoverTheDiningRoomChairs

​I’m at the pharmacy and see that ladies razors are on clearance AND buy one get one free… 

Ladies! Come on! Don’t let the black forest grow just because it’s a little cold outside.  I understand that not having to shave is a luxury and that an extra layer of warmth in the winter time is nice but we live in NC, it just doesn’t get that cold here. 

October is too soon for Christmas decorations and it’s too early to jump into full-on furry.  If you quit shaving those legs now, you’ll have to tuck it into your socks by the new year.  

Let’s not enter 2017 in beast mode.  Shave those legs, make them the one smooth thing in our crazy lives!

#BeastMode

#AvoidThePrickles

#LegWarmersAreSexier

Today is my mother’s birthday!  In honor of the old bird, I want to share a few Elaine-isms that may explain why I am the way I am…

“Well… Cami…” – these words were said with one eye brow cocked clear up to her hairline and to this day can send chills up my spine.  I didn’t hear it often, but when I really messed up, she would say “Well… Cami…” in her best deep, Barry White voice and I knew I was busted.  It would, and still does, stop me in my tracks.

“Ashley Camille Harwood!” – For most children, hearing your whole name is bad news.  For my mom, it means I’ve said something outrageous that she thinks is funny but knows, as a parent, she should scold me for it.  This happens a lot.

“Let’s plan a trip to…” – We have lived and traveled all over the world, but it’s never enough for this woman.  She is constantly calling me with a new adventure, a weekend plan, and bucket list additions.  Next up, Colorado!  After that, there is no telling.

“Let me tell you one more thing…” – It never fails.  We can talk on the phone for an hour, but the second I try to hang up she has one more thing to tell me.  This, of course, turns into a 15 minute conversation and sparks 1,000 other topics that we can laugh about.  So a five minute check-in call, turns into a two hour conversation.  In all fairness, it takes a while to solve the world’s problems.

Diet Mt. Dew – I’m not saying she is addicted, I’m just saying she would tap it in her veins if she could and may not make it to tomorrow without a cold one.

“Well, you know…” – This phrase can take you anywhere.  It’s Elaine’s way of throwing a little grapevine into the convo.  Whenever she says it I get a picture of her in 20 years sitting under the dryer at the beauty parlor and gossiping with the little old biddies from church.

“I just met the nicest man…” – Good glory!  This woman can talk to a brick wall, and I swear to you, she could get information from it.  Every gas station attendant, grocery store cashier, patients in the waiting room, passengers on a plane – by the end of the conversation she knows where they grew up, what their goals in life are, how long they’ve been married, why they are divorced, when their children’s birthdays are… She works faster than the FBI.

“You don’t know what ___ means?  Ugh, I have failed you as a mom.” – My mother is extremely accomplished.  She earned her Masters in Nursing from Carolina with a 4.0 the same year I graduated with my bachelors (not with a 4.0).  Then she graduated from Vanderbilt with the same gpa, becoming one of the first Doctors of Nursing Practice in the world.  She is a sponge, she soaks up facts and figures with ease… unlike her daughter.  She is also a wordsmith.  In a normal conversation she will throw out a $10 word that I have never heard before.  I’ve told her for years that she just makes words up, but the truth is, I think she relaxes at night by reading the dictionary while sipping on her cold Diet Mt Dew.

Swearing – my entire childhood, I can’t remember my mother saying a harsh word.  She’s sarcastic and would lovingly pick on friends and family, but never in malice. But the older she gets, the more she sounds like a sailor on leave.  It still catches me off guard, and makes me giggle like a school girl.  It’s just so funny to hear her use the “naughty words”.  She won’t like this one, but she can’t argue it either.  I see a “Well… Cami…” coming.

For all of these reasons, and so many more, I love you Mom.  I hope you have a very Merry Birthday and feel the love and gratitude of a daughter who adores you and all your Elaine-ism’s! 

#Elaineisms

#MyMomIsMyBestFriend

#MomPassedDownTheCrazy

#ImAlreadyTurningIntoMyMother

#HappyBirthdayMom

I’ve had an incredibly busy but incredibly rewarding week. I helped honor a precious group of people and heard pure joy in their laughter.

I came home exhausted and exilerated, and sadly, no one to share it with. I opened the fridge to find left overs to heat up but no sweet tea. Since sweet tea runs through my veins, it was crushing to have to settle for something else. 

I don’t drink soda but had a case of ginger ale in the pantry (no clue where it came from). I decided it would be my pathetic attempt to pop some bubbly and celebrate. 

I opened the box and put one can on the counter while I finished plating the left overs. When I sat down, it was with a plop and deep sigh…Such an exciting life I live.

Still going over the details of the perfect day in my head, I popped the can open and brought it to my mouth for a deep gulp of poor-man’s champagne.

I felt something funny on my lip, so with mouth still full of bubbly, I pulled the can back to take a look.

There on the can, right at the opening, was a freaking roach!  A flat, dehydrated, been there for who knows how long, nasty, roach. 

I aimed at the sink, but ginger ale blew everywhere.  The roach, however, didn’t move – thank God.  I spent the next 10 minutes scrubbing my face and cussing like a sailor. The 10 minutes after that, scrubbing the ginger ale off the floor and walls and cussing like a sailor with a wicked streak.

The lesson here is – watch what you drink because the animal kingdom may have gotten to it first.

#PoppingTheBubbly

#OfficiallyDoneWithGingerAleForAWhile

#RoachKissesAreNoGood

​I am blessed to know many and honored to call them family. Happy Veterans Day to all the heroes who kept us safe then, and continue to do so now.