Having hurdled the allergies and sickness of the beginning of the week, the kids and I are now able to enjoy their spring break a little. I’m still pouring Zyrtec shots and antibiotic mixers, but the energy level have definitely picked up.
Our Virginia Beach plans were squashed though, so I’ve had to be inventive to keep the vacation from being a flop. After this many days together, in the house, babes not feeling well, both going through growth spurts, neither wanting to do the same thing at the same time … I felt a kindred spirit to Jack Torrance.
I needed some time outside, some exercise and most of all, I needed some laughter. So I loaded up the car with snacks, sunscreen, meds and movies and headed for Asheboro, NC.
The NC Zoo is the nation’s largest walk-through, natural habitat zoo. The entire 500 acres are well manicured, easily navigated, very family friendly and best of all, air conditioned in several areas to give a respite from the heat.
It is also a smorgasbord of people from every walk of life. There were the pearls and bow parents who looked perfectly preppy and put together. The tattoo and tanks parents who wore every kind of tank top imaginable to show off their artwork. The fit parents who wore their Under Armour and were ready for the five mile work out.
As we sat in the breeze on a perfect spring day, eating our $30 chicken nuggets, I saw it. The People of Walmart parade had begun and we had won front row seats.
The best look came from a woman wearing leggings that showed every curve and crevice with a t-shirt that said “Too bad you missed your shot at all this”.
That made me chuckle, but the real laughter was provided by a young couple with a little girl around two or three. We were all waiting in line for the kids to take a picture with the bronze buffalo. Their little girl walked up to it, looked over the massive statue and then promptly started swinging from the male animal’s very large nether regions.
I personally would have taken a few dozen pictures at that moment… I’m twisted like that… but her parents clearly didn’t think it was a Kodak moment.
The mother yelled out “Suzie, get off of those!”
The father looked at the mother and with a straight face said “Turn your head dear, I can’t have those things altering your reality.”
Her response was classic. “Those aren’t what count, honey. Go get your daughter while I find the hand sanitizer.”
It is moments like that when I miss someone to share the joke with. 🙂
#Zootalors
#NCZoo
#PeopleOfWalmartParadeChuckles
#ParentingHumor
Outrageously Ordinary 