Outrageously Ordinary

After a long day at the office/school, the kids and I bombard the house with one mission in mind… shoes off, comfy clothes on.

I’m not sure when the thought hits them, but every day around 3pm I start craving the fat pants and slippers.  I understand there are comfy alternatives to slacks and such, but I’m not into the leggings at work look.  Plus it gives me extra motivation to get the job done and get home… whatever lights your fire, right?

I manage to get my shoes in the closet when we get home, but for some reason the children’s shoes jump off their feet and land in the hallway – in the middle of the hallway, to be specific, where the aroma can smack me in the face as I walk into the kitchen.

Within minutes of their shoes coming off, I hear the same line from both of them every day… “Moooooooom, can I have a snack?”  They hop on their stools and stare at me with big blue eyes that melt me even on my strongest day.  So we sit at the kitchen island and talk over their snacks and my sweet tea…

Until I can’t take it anymore.  The green cloud of Pepe Le Pew unholiness rises above the island and into my nose, smelling of sour rot, sweat and some sort of barn yard animal.

How do their feet smell this bad!  That’s not meant to be a question, it’s an appeal for humanity.  I am raising sweet, intelligent, kind, funny children here but I feel like someone may actually lose consciousness if not adequately warned of the potency behind these little feet.

Fast forward to dinner… we are at the dining room table waiting for my young one to finish (he holds the trophy for slowest eater in the universe – that title comes with no cash prize, only opportunities to test my patience and out maneuver my bribery skills).  We are eating and talking and being the idyllic little Norman Rockwell(ish) family, when once again the stench wafts my way.

The worst part… the three of us sat there smelling each others feet to see which pair was the worst, like it was a final challenge on Fear Factor.

I can’t be sure, but I feel like we are a little more strange than other families.

#WhatTheFunk

#ImProudToSayILost

#TheArmyMayWantToHarnessThis