Motherhood Makes You Twisted 

Why is it that I can spend two hours cleaning the house and won’t be interrupted once, but I can’t take a 15 minute shower without giving a play by play of what I’m doing?

Why is it that I can sort a bed full of laundry for 45 minutes with not a child in sight, but I can’t have a 5 minute conversation on the phone without needing to put the person on hold to exercise my incredible conflict resolution capabilities?  (Homeland Security needs more mothers)

Why is it that I can go through the day playing 20 questions to get scraps of information from their day, but 30 minutes past bedtime is when they choose to confide in me and ask thoughtful and insightful questions?

And why is it that I miss all of that when the kids aren’t here?

Motherhood makes you twisted. 




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