We all get dressed one pant leg at a time and fasten the button with relief when those pants in the back of the closet still fit.
We try to match our socks, or at least choose them in the same color family. Unless we have on boots, then anything goes.
We brush our hair and teeth to get presentable and not offend anyone with a static afro or last night’s hamburger morning breath.
We check the schnoz to make sure there isn’t a green flag flying with every breath.
For those of us who wear make up, we put the Lancome and Maybelline mask on and hope that everything stays where you want it and doesn’t add to the dark circles of motherhood under your eyes.
We all have our routine. What is not part of my regular routine is plucking my eyebrows. Every once in a while a little hair will go rogue and I yank it out with a jerk but in general, they are not a problem area for me.
Until 2016. This was the year that little rogue bastard turned gray. I was washing my face the other day and looked in the mirror to survey the damage – you know, check to see if anything needed to be squeezed, scratched, trimmed or popped. I have a magnifying mirror that makes my pores look like saucer-size pot holes of ugliness. It reveals this horrible world of spots and splotches that I didn’t even know existed before… I love it!
Everything checked out alright but then I noticed this thick gray hair coming out of my eyebrow. How long has it been there? Where did it even come from? I’m not ready for gray eyebrows!
I have had grays in my hair for years, I’m fine with those. I earned every gray hair on my head and have no intention of coloring them. But grays in the eyebrow just seems like a low blow, like Elsa convinced Mother Nature to take her gloves off and ice my face.
I plucked it out, root and all, and could not believe how thick it was. Why are gray hairs so much thicker than the others? The whole thing just seems unfair. I’m still somewhere in my 20’s on the inside. A 20 year old should not have crazy grays growing out of her face.
The Disgruntled Gray-Haired Lady