There is an unspoken rule in my house that requires me to physically drag my children out of bed in the morning after the alarm clock goes off. I spend somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 minutes getting them up and out of zombie mode.  They don’t lose the snail pace until we get to school where their friends perk them up like a double espresso.

There is another rule in my house that requires my children to wake up at the butt crack of dawn any time we have the luxury of an alarm clock free morning.  The usual time of choice seems to be 5:30am which is a full two hours before I wake them up during the week.  The birds aren’t even awake at that time – so the animal kingdom knows it’s too early to function but my children act like I haven’t fed them all week and are starving for breakfast.  But not just any breakfast,  it’s the weekend so they want things on the Eggs Benedict level …  have we met?!?!  I pour them a bowl of gourmet Cheerios while whispering sweet nothings to my coffee maker and calculating how many hours before I can feel my pillow again.

It’s those days in particular that I am grateful for the barcaloungers at the Raleigh Grande.  Zzzzzzzzz…

#HouseRules

#AlarmClocksAreForSingletons

#ThankGodForCheerios

#OutrageouslyOrdinary 

In case I die tonight and the autopsy is inconclusive, I want you all to know what happened.  

Pilates took me.  The agony of it was too much.  Muscles scarcely used and formerly forgotten have woken from hibernation with a vengeance.

Wine and ice cream are helping me feel better though. I may make it to tomorrow with their help.

Irony at its finest. 

#WineAboutPilates

#PilatesBurn

#PilatesMakesMePrayAndCuss

#OutrageouslyOrdinary 

On any given school day, I had the following conversation with both of my children in the car on the way home:

Me: So, how was your day?

Them: Great!

Me: Oh yeah, what made it great?

Them: Hmmm, I don’t remember.

Me: Well, what made you laugh today?

Them: Hmmm, I don’t remember.

Me: Did you do anything out of the ordinary in class?

Them: I don’t think so, but (better sit down for this revelation) I don’t remember.

Every day I asked them how their day was, every day they give me scraps.  Until bed time, of course, and then they were an open book.

I gave my daughter a kiss on her nose before bed a few weeks ago and she told me to be careful because her nose still hurt.

Why would it hurt?  What happened?

Someone threw a basketball at her face, hitting her nose hard enough to tear up but not bleed (her words, not mine).

So my question is this – is it wrong that I was less interested in how her nose was doing (she was fine, by the way), and more interested in finding out which juvenile delinquent threw the ball at her so I could find him on the school yard and whisper-scare him from ever hurting her again?

whisper-scare: verb – the act of whispering something to someone with a sweet southern smile on your face, while quietly convincing them that you see and know everything, and will hunt them down like a dog if they mess with your baby again…  But for real.

I always like to channel the late, great Dixie Carter when performing the whisper-scare. Works every time.

#TheWhisperScare

#JuliaSugarbakerIsMyHero

#ILoveTheRandomLateNightTalks

#OpenBookAtBedTime

 

Most parents wake their children up by dancing on their beds to Santana, right?  My son’s response… “Mama! It’s too early for you to shake like that.” Ha!

#ShakeItSantana

#LastDayOfWork

#OutrageouslyOrdinary 

#NotShowerSmooth

#ILookLikeTheFlyingNun

#IAmTheOppositeOfSexy

#OutrageouslyOrdinary 

#MakeUpMishaps

#LiquidEyelinerCanSenseFear

#LancomeCanOnlyDoSoMuch

#OutrageouslyOrdinary 

#TheFryingPan

#KidsSayTheDarndestThings

#SarcasmCantBeTaught

#OutrageouslyOrdinary 

Piano lessons…

Sister posing while brother practices Sonatina.  Brother stinking up the place while sister practices breathing through her mouth.

#PracticeMakesPerfect

#PianoLessonsAreAlwaysComical

#MusicFillsOurHouse

#OutrageouslyOrdinary 

I just found a $20 bill in the parking deck at Crabtree Valley Mall. A mom who looked like she had had a hard day was walking out of the mall with 3 kids, 2 of them screaming.  I told her that I found it and that she should order pizza with it tonight.

The oldest of the 3 shot her mom a toothless smile and said “now you don’t have to use the stamps”.

Pay it forward every chance you get.

#LostAndFoundAndPizza

#PayItForward

#ChooseKindness

#ShowOurKidsWhatCaringIs

#OutrageouslyOrdinary